I watched it Begin Again.

Begin Again
Taylor Swift

Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turned the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song
But I do, I do

Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don't know how nice that is
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

He said he never met one girl
Who had as many James Taylor records as you
But I do
We tell stories and you don't know why
I'm coming off a little shy
But I do

But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies that your family watches
Every single Christmas and I won't talk about that
And for the first time what's past is past

'Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

You know, sometimes, you just will meet this one song, which you think that it is made for you. A song that truly can describe your feelings, or your circumstances so precisely.

I played this song for the first time yesterday on my new downloaded songs playlist and totally in love in the first tune. And when I listened carefully to the lyrics.. I shocked a little bit. This song is so me. Was. Even the 'eight months' line was completely true.

I mentioned before in earlier post last year, that I've been in the lowest times in my life because of this one badass. Well let's call it-ehem-him, this guy. I won't describe more with some pity broken hearted girl stories again, it was so last year and I have dealt with them a long, long time ago. It's amazing how love can change a person. I couldn't get over thinking how lame and blind I was. Well, everyone often made a big mistake when they're young. But still, I am really thankful that it have happened to me. I realize how big God's love for me, that He wanted me to learn and learn again from my mistakes.

I was crushed, destroyed, and never looked to myself the way I was at that time. YES I was the type of girl who believes that everyone is good, that someone who love me wouldn't hurt me. In fact I knew it later that they're the ones who will hurt you the most. They often said it, I just never listened to them.

And then he, yes, you hubby! One day like the lyrics, he showed up a time in my life and the wounded bounds planted in my heart, they slowly faded. Like a balloon, they popped one by one. Pop, pop, pop, until all of them were gone. And they never came back again. How?

I didn't say that it was easy -- 

'I've been spending the last eight months, thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end.'

I've been on that phase. Eight months I were lost and I never truly believed in someone. I even was too scared to open my heart again for someone.

But suddenly you came and fills everything I ever wanted, everything I only can imagine that can ever happen to me -- those kind of love. Like a father loves his only daughter. That soft look everytime I turn my eyes on yours. I could never doubt that you're inlove with me, and I feel the same about you too.

I owe You too much, right, Father? :)

'And for the first time what's past is past.'

Yes, what's past is past. Now I can look at those hard times as a very important lesson in my life. I am blessed now with much more love, than I thought I never could ever deserve. You fills my world with laughter, you makes it up for both of us, you try and fight to stay with me. And I can't ever stop to think if I'm worthy enough for you, but you always ensure me that I am.

Happy 21st monthversary. I'm so glad I have you're here with me.

I love you, hun.

*

Thanks for reading. :)

Sorry if it's too long and whatever, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Irene.