Seconds Past Twentyfourteen.

Heyho. This is another thoughtful post. I hope you don't get boring because of my babbling. *;)

As you know we've only past seconds away from 2013! Another year has passed.

How do you feel, fellas? Is it a good year? Or no? But I always believe that everything happened for a good reason. No, our Father in heaven put everything right there for a reason :) Okay, now I feel wise. Or maybe feeling older all of sudden...

In this special post, I want to say that 

I AM REALLY THANKFUL FOR THIS YEAR.

Firstly, Father in heaven, I know I'm not a good child. I had times when I'm too selfish to think that you've abandoned me. Like I'm lack of blessing because of my fam's problem. And this and that. I always say 'please' more than 'thank You' in all my prayers. But wow, You never fail to amaze me. You make me realized that little by little, you've walked the path of my life with me, even carry me sometimes in my worst days. Thank You for this beautiful life you give me, and sorry for not grateful enough for it.

Second, to the boy who can stay this long with me. I've been a brat, very-spoiled brat, and sometimes do stupid things that always make you sad.. It broke my heart, you know.. To make someone who's closest to you sad. Just sorry. Thank you for always forgive me. Thank you for teaching me a lot of things and to stay be my side until now. And mostly thanks for countless big smile you put on my face. I love you even moreeee. *kisses

Third, to my family and my friends. The one who always give me advices as much as jokes and humor. They're the ones who wont let you down alone. I can't say that I've been a good friend.. There are times I feel like don't care about anything and angry or even *sorry, father* envy them. But as soon as I think about that I know I was wrong. So thank you all for always encourage me and thanks for the time, the support> I love you all *big hugs

Okay, enough for the touchy part,

Yesterday I spent the countdown just like what I've always been doing for the past years, staying at home. Yeah-I feel kind of nerdie abt this .___. But this year I've got company *blush Thank you so much for accompany me babe :*

Anyway,

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

I hope this year will bring us more and more fortune. And bright future. And of course a better self ;)

Big hugs everyone!

Thanks for reading!

- Irene

"You're a Wallflower."

          "You see things.
          And you understand. 
          You're a wallflower." -  Patrick

Have you ever seen a movie, which is so heartfelt and warm,

and you couldn't stop to think about life, and so on?

Well, yesterday, I was.

          "So, this is my life.
          And I want you to know that I'm both happy and sad 
          And I'm still trying to figure out how could that be." - Charlie

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) a film directed and based on the critically acclaimed novel by Stephen Chbosky. Fifteen-year-old Charlie (Logan Lerman) is about to begin his freshman year of high school. He told his story by writing letters to anonymous stranger, because he's alone, he's only friend committed suicide months ago, and he has this mental illness about seeing visions. His closest relative was his aunt, who died in a car accident when he was seven.

Later he tried to make friends with two seniors - Sam (Emma Watson) and her stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller). They welcome Charlie to their group, and introduce Charlie to many experiences with his new friends. He soon has a romantic feeling for Sam, but he believes that he has no chance with her. After a while, Charlie begins to learn about new things in life. He has friends who help him through life. He learns about love. But he also keep seeing visions about the day her aunt died in a car accident. And there's one point when he just couldn't face it, not at all.

          "Why do I, and everyone I love, pick people who treat us like we're nothing?"
          "We accept the love we think we deserve."

 

It amazed me how Logan Lerman (Charlie) act in the movie. You can believe that he is a typical-strange-home-boy-for-life at the first sight you saw him on his first scene. He makes everyone swim around with Charlie's mind. Pure, smart, but lonely. And what I love more about this film is how fast it can bring your emotions up and down. I got teary several times, and cried a little bit. Yes, it was that good.

I got so caught in those emotions.. Concerned? Sad? Moved? I don't know, they're coming altogether at once.  

At some point, there comes a time in your life that you will be on your lowest. And thinking that you don't have any friends to help you through that, not even your family - it kind of feel depressing to me. Well, the thought of it actually scares me. And that's why I can see the way Charlie feels. It must be really, really hard. 

I'm saying this not because it was just in a movie - But there are real people like him. Kids who's struggling through all bullies. How easy they think about suicide and ends their life, because they couldn't take it anymore. It's just not right. :(

Anyways, this one is a movie you shouldn't miss. LIKE, WATCH THIS IMMEDIATELY.

They can change  your perspective of life. Try it ;)

          "I can see it.

          This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. 

          You are alive. 

          And you stand up and  see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. 

          And you're listening to that song on that drive with the people you love most in this world. 

          And in this moment, I swear..

          We are infinite." - Charlie

Thanks for reading!

Irene

I watched it Begin Again.

Begin Again
Taylor Swift

Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turned the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song
But I do, I do

Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don't know how nice that is
But I do

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

He said he never met one girl
Who had as many James Taylor records as you
But I do
We tell stories and you don't know why
I'm coming off a little shy
But I do

But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies that your family watches
Every single Christmas and I won't talk about that
And for the first time what's past is past

'Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

You know, sometimes, you just will meet this one song, which you think that it is made for you. A song that truly can describe your feelings, or your circumstances so precisely.

I played this song for the first time yesterday on my new downloaded songs playlist and totally in love in the first tune. And when I listened carefully to the lyrics.. I shocked a little bit. This song is so me. Was. Even the 'eight months' line was completely true.

I mentioned before in earlier post last year, that I've been in the lowest times in my life because of this one badass. Well let's call it-ehem-him, this guy. I won't describe more with some pity broken hearted girl stories again, it was so last year and I have dealt with them a long, long time ago. It's amazing how love can change a person. I couldn't get over thinking how lame and blind I was. Well, everyone often made a big mistake when they're young. But still, I am really thankful that it have happened to me. I realize how big God's love for me, that He wanted me to learn and learn again from my mistakes.

I was crushed, destroyed, and never looked to myself the way I was at that time. YES I was the type of girl who believes that everyone is good, that someone who love me wouldn't hurt me. In fact I knew it later that they're the ones who will hurt you the most. They often said it, I just never listened to them.

And then he, yes, you hubby! One day like the lyrics, he showed up a time in my life and the wounded bounds planted in my heart, they slowly faded. Like a balloon, they popped one by one. Pop, pop, pop, until all of them were gone. And they never came back again. How?

I didn't say that it was easy -- 

'I've been spending the last eight months, thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end.'

I've been on that phase. Eight months I were lost and I never truly believed in someone. I even was too scared to open my heart again for someone.

But suddenly you came and fills everything I ever wanted, everything I only can imagine that can ever happen to me -- those kind of love. Like a father loves his only daughter. That soft look everytime I turn my eyes on yours. I could never doubt that you're inlove with me, and I feel the same about you too.

I owe You too much, right, Father? :)

'And for the first time what's past is past.'

Yes, what's past is past. Now I can look at those hard times as a very important lesson in my life. I am blessed now with much more love, than I thought I never could ever deserve. You fills my world with laughter, you makes it up for both of us, you try and fight to stay with me. And I can't ever stop to think if I'm worthy enough for you, but you always ensure me that I am.

Happy 21st monthversary. I'm so glad I have you're here with me.

I love you, hun.

*

Thanks for reading. :)

Sorry if it's too long and whatever, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Irene.